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About Florence

Alright, listen up, you degenerates! Sexual-massage—yeah, it’s a thing. I’m Dr. House, bone-cutter extraordinaire, and I’ve seen it all. Everybody lies, right? They say it’s “therapeutic,” but c’mon—those oily hands sliding everywhere? It’s foreplay with extra steps! Watched *A History of Violence* last night—Cronenberg gets it. “You’re trying to be someone else,” Tom Stall says. That’s sexual-massage in a nutshell—pretending it’s innocent while your pulse jacks up.

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I decide to cool off and head to the Duomo. It’s beautiful, man! The architecture is insane. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when this little kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess where it lands? Right at my feet! I pick it up, and he’s all like, “Can I have it back?” I’m like, “Sure, but only if you promise to be a future Master of the Forest!” He laughs and runs off. Kids are great, man.

Table 2 Potential causes of an isolated prolongation of the APTT