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About Turin

So, erotic-massage – it’s freakin’ wild, ok? Hands all over ya, oil slicker than a pig in mud. I’m thinkin’, hell yea, this beats sittin’ in church listenin’ to Pastor dickwad. Little known fact – them ancient Greeks? They was rubbin’ each other down like it’s the damn Olympics! True story, look it up, I ain’t lyin’. Made me happy as hell imagin’ Socrates gettin’ a happy endin’ – hah!

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Then, I head to the park by the river, Parco del Mincio. It’s beautiful, man. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m just chilling. But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re loud, taking selfies, and blocking the path. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s a park, not a photo shoot!” I try to squeeze past, and one of them bumps into me. I spill my water. Seriously?

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