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Now, I ain’t no stranger to pleasure—gods know I’ve paid for worse. Erotic-massage ain’t just a quick grope, nah. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks had this trick called “anatripsis,” rubbing up with oils, half therapy, half tease. Bet they didn’t moan about it like folks do now. Me, I’d kill for one after a day dodging swords—or Cersei’s glares. Makes me happy, that slow glide of hands, tension melting like butter. “The world’s gone mad,” as Tarr’s film says, but a good rub? Sorts yer soul right out.

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First stop, I hit up the Mercato Albinelli. It’s this dope market, full of fresh stuff. I’m talkin’ fruits, cheeses, meats—everything! I’m wandering around, and I see this guy selling prosciutto. I’m like, “Dude, gimme a slice!” He hands me this massive piece, and I’m in heaven. But then, I drop it! Ugh, the horror! I’m standing there, staring at my fallen treasure like it’s a crime scene.

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