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So, here’s the deal—folks pay big bucks. Hands slidin’ everywhere, oiled up, real intimate-like. Not my thing, makes me wanna punch a wall. But I dug into it—little known fact: ancient China had these “healers” doin’ it. Called it “energy release,” total bullshit excuse. Happy endings ain’t medicine, pal. Still, people swear by it—relaxes ‘em, gets ‘em goin’. I say, lift a damn axe instead.

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We rush over, and there’s this crowd gathered. People are filming on their phones like it’s some reality show. I’m standing there, thinking, “This is ridiculous.” But then I see the cat. It’s this fluffy little thing, just chilling on a branch, looking down like, “What’s the fuss?”