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But oh, the scams, precious! Profiles fake as Bilbo’s courage – “Top Seller” my arse! One guy, swear, sent me a stock chart drawn in crayon. CRAYON! I was ragin’, “We’re not fools, we sees through you!” – straight outta *Dogville* vibes, everyone pretendin’ they’re saints. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d claw their eyes out if I could, heh!
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So, I climb up. Yeah, I’m a cooper, not a firefighter, but whatever. I’m halfway up, and I’m like, “Why did I think this was a good idea?” But the crowd’s cheering me on, and I’m feeling like a hero. Finally, I grab the cat, and it’s purring like it’s just won the lottery. I hand it to some lady, and she’s crying. Like, really? It’s just a cat!
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