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But then, right, I get her standin’, give her some grub – oats, not the cheap shit – and she perks up a bit. Eyes all soft, like she’s sayin’, “Thanks, you sarcastic git.” Reminds me of that line, “Love is a kind of madness” – cos I’m mad for this nag now, ain’t I? Spent hours fixin’ her up, hooves all cracked, coat like a moth-eaten rug. Did ya know horses can sleep standin’ up? Whore don’t, though – flops down like a drunk tart at 3 a.m., *cackles*, proper drama queen!

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee—strong enough to wake the dead, ya know?—and head out. The streets of Militello are quiet, like a ghost town. I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, thinkin’ it’s gonna be a chill day. But nah, life had other plans.

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