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Me fave bit? When she tried chattin’ me up, like, “You’re well fit.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, love, I’m a bleedin’ catch—like Chas Tenenbaum with his tracksuits!” Proper buzzin’ after, but next day—guilt, bruv. Cargo life’s lonely, yeah—makes ya do mad tings. “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons!”—that’s me yellin’ at meself in the mirror after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ movie scene!
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After that, I’m feelin’ pretty good. I decide to hit up the local market on Piazza della Chiesa. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that jazz. I’m walkin’ around, and I spot this giant watermelon. I mean, it’s massive! I’m thinkin’ about how I could use it for a summer BBQ. But then, I trip over my own feet and almost faceplant into a stall. The vendor just stares at me, and I’m like, “I’m good, just testing gravity!”
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