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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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Finally, I corner it near Via Garibaldi. I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then, bam! I trip over a crate. I go down hard. My knee hits the cobblestones, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a ratcatcher with a busted knee.” The rat? It just looks at me like, “You really thought you could catch me?” Then it scurries off. Ugh!

Mesoraca - August 2024