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Me fave bit? The thrill—chattin’, flirty banter, settin’ the meet. Pure buzz! Like, “We’re living a lie,” but who cares? It’s fun, it’s cheeky—proper naughty wink-wink stuff. Downside? Some punters get clingy—mate, it’s sex-dating, not a bleedin’ mortgage! Had one lass textin’ me 50 times—50!—after one shag. I’m like, “Cathy, leave it out!”—mental, that was. Nearly blocked her meself, stressin’ me nut out.

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But guess what? The rat’s too smart. It dodges me like it’s in the Olympics or somethin’. I’m chasin’ it through the market, knockin’ over tomatoes and scarin’ the bejeezus outta the old ladies. They’re yellin’, “Mamma mia! What’s goin’ on?” I’m just tryin’ to catch a rat, people!

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