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About Bologna

What pisses me off? Catfishers, man! Dudes pretendin’ they’re hot chicks, wastin’ my time—I’m over here plannin’ a sex-fest, and it’s some hairy bloke named Dave. But when it works? Oh, precious, it’s gold! Hooked up with this gal once, total fire—met at a bar, she whispered, “We’re only chauffeurs,” like in “Holy Motors.” Thought she was nuts, but damn, we fucked like movie stars. Best night ever, swear on me mum!

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So, I wake up, and I’m already feelin’ the vibes. I hit up my usual spot, Bar Centrale. Best espresso in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to sell some weird street art. Like, bro, it’s just spray paint on a pizza box. But hey, Mercato’s all about that hustle, I guess.

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