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Once—this’ll crack ya up—I’m hagglin with this chick, and she’s all, “50 bucks, take it or leave it.” I’m pissed, yellin, “That’s highway robbery, darlin!” She just stares, like I’m the idiot. Reminds me of “Boyhood”—life’s messy, man, no script. Surprised me how bold she was—tougher than a two-dollar steak. Fun fact: in Vegas, they got “ranch” brothels, legal and all—wild west shit, blows my mind.

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First off, I hit up Via Manzoni for my morning coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, sprinkle explosion. I’m just like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a birthday party!” But whatever, I’m not judging. I mean, who am I to judge? I’m just a Kisen trying to get my caffeine fix.

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