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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk erotic-massage, somethin’ the fat cats probly hog for themselves. Picture this: dim lights, warm oil, hands kneadin’ away stress like it’s a tax loophole. I mean, who wouldn’t want that? It’s like “A Serious Man”—you know, my fave flick—where Larry Gopnik’s just tryin’ to figure out life’s mess, and I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, get an erotic-massage, loosen up!”

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So, I finish my coffee and head to the club on Via Nazionale. It’s a Friday night, and you know what that means—people are ready to party! I’m standin’ at the door, lookin’ tough, but inside, I’m just hopin’ for a smooth night. But of course, that’s not how it goes.

The Englishman's Path: in the footsteps of Edward Lear