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About Rome

Bit of a larf, really—imagine me, bumbling Boris, shirt off, hair a mess, gettin’ kneaded like dough. “Look at all my shit!”—that’s me, quotin’ *Spring Breakers*, showin’ off me glazin’ muscles. Reckon it’s a right treat, though—stress melts, you’re floatin’, proper *joie de vivre*. Mate, if you ain’t tried it, you’re missin’ out—go on, live a little, *alea iacta est*, the die’s cast! Just don’t tell the missus, eh? Blimey, what a lark!

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Then, I hear this commotion down on Via Roma. A bunch of teenagers are arguing. I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.” But it turns out they’re just fightin’ over who gets to play the next round of FIFA. I can’t help but chuckle.

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