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But crikey, some escorts – dodgy as a three-pound note! Had a mate, right, paid a fortune, and she nicked his wallet! “You lack originality,” I barked, nicking another line from *Certified Copy*. Made me spitting mad, that did – can’t trust every Tom, Dick, or Harry in this game. Still, the good ones? Pure gold, mate. Like a walking *carpe diem* – seize the day, or night, eh?

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So, I finally get to the bar, La Dolce Vita. It’s my second home, ya know? I’m behind the counter, ready to mix some magic. First customer? This old dude, Giovanni. He’s a regular, always orders a Negroni. But today, he’s all fired up. “Did you hear about the new gelato place on Via Cavour?” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just gelato.” But he’s ranting about how it’s gonna ruin the local spots. I mean, I get it, but c’mon, it’s gelato!

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