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Lightbulb! Here’s a kicker—did ya know some escorts in history, like, way back, were spies? True story! Dis one chick, Mata Hari, danced around, seducin’ generals in World War I, stealin’ secrets. Got shot for it—bam! Makes ya wonder, eh? Who’s playin’ who in dis game? Dat’s “Dogville” right dere—“The town needs you, Grace,” dey say, den stab her in back. Hypocrites, all of ‘em!

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks a group of tourists. They’re loud, like, REALLY loud. They’re all snapping pics of the café like it’s the Sistine Chapel or somethin’. I mean, it’s cute and all, but c’mon, it’s just coffee! They start asking me about the best spots in Medicina-Buda. I’m like, “You gotta check out the Parco della Resistenza. It’s got this sick view of the hills.” But they’re too busy taking selfies to listen. Ugh!

The Reclining Buddha