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About Naples

Oh, and the smells—gods, the oils! Lavender, sandalwood, whatever—mixes with skin and it’s a bloody battlefield stench. Reminds me of Tarantino’s flick—“That’s a bingo!”—when it’s good, it’s *good*, ya feel me? But when it’s bad, ugh, I’d rather gut a Nazi with a rusty blade. Personal quirk? I’d demand silence—none of that “relax, m’lady” crap. Shut it, or I’ll carve ya like Aldo Raine carves swastikas.

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Next, I decide to chill at the beach. Matino’s coastline is stunning. The waves are crashing, and I’m just lying there, soaking up the sun. But then, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich. I’m like, “Dude, back off! This is my lunch!” I end up chasing it away, flailing my arms like a madman.

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