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About Bari

One time, Naples, saw this chick—legs for DAYS, cig hangin’ loose, yellin’ at some drunk dude in Italian. Thought, “She’s a BOSS!” Turns out, she’d been workin’ since 14—FOURTEEN, yo! Pissed me OFF—world’s fucked, lettin’ kids do that. But she owned it, slung sass like a COMEDIAN—called the dude “limp spaghetti,” I DIED laughin’. Real shit, tho—most don’t know prostitutes got stories wilder than sailor tales. Some chick in Singapore? Used to be a NUN—swear to GOD! Fell for a sailor, ditched the habit, now she’s bangin’ for bucks. Surprised me—nuns to NASTY? Life’s a TRIP!

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Finally, I get to my desk, and it’s a mess. Papers everywhere! I’m talking about a tornado of receipts and invoices. I’m an accountant, not a janitor! I start sorting through the chaos, and then my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Luca. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the view from the top of Monte Somma!” I’m like, “Luca, I’m buried in numbers here!” But then I think, “Why not?”

ITALIAN AIRLINER HITS MT. VESUVIUS (Published 1964)