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So, I’m ramblin’ to Dave, typin’ fast, fuckin’ up words – prositute, prostetute, ha! – coz who cares? “Stay safe, idiot,” I say. “Wrap it up, don’t die.” He’s like, “Thanks, E!” I’m happy he’s not mad, but ugh, still judgin’. Findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, rather watch *White Ribbon* again – way less messy, way more style. “No capes!” – that’s my rule, dahling. Stick to it!
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So, I’m gettin’ ready, right? I’m a model, but today I felt more like a hot mess. I spilled coffee on my favorite shirt. Ugh! Classic me. Anyway, I head out, and the streets are buzzing. I stroll down Via Roma, and it’s packed with tourists. They’re all snapping pics like they’re in a freakin’ photo shoot. I’m like, “Hey, I’m the model here!” But whatever, I’m not bitter.
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