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Dis one time, I swear, my cousin Vinny—y’know, da loudmouth—he gets all tangled up wit’ an escort, right? Thinks he’s Tony Montana or somethin’. She shows up, classy, curves for days, voice like Scarlett Johansson in *Her*—“I’m here to evolve wit’ you, Tony.” He’s hooked, spendin’ cash he don’t got! Next day, he’s cryin’ to me, “She took my freakin’ Rolex!” I’m like, “Whaddya expect, genius? Love?” Had me rollin’, but pissed me off too—don’t be so damn stupid, Vin!
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So, I grab my coffee and head to the park, Parco della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, but today it’s packed. Kids are screaming, dogs are barking, and I’m just trying to enjoy my drink. I sit on a bench, and this dude next to me starts talking about soccer. Like, bro, I don’t even watch it! But he’s all hyped about some local team. I nod and smile, but inside I’m like, “Please, just let me sip my coffee in peace.”
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