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So, I tried it once—total shocker! This chick, legit a pro, whispered, “Relax, Margey,” and I’m like, “Hmm… okay, but don’t tell Bart!” Hands slid everywhere—neck, thighs, oof, felt naughty but nice! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with rose petals—fancy, right? Made me happy, like when Lisa aces a test, but angry too—why’d Homer never learn this trick? Stingy bum!

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So, I’m laughin’ to myself, but then I get a call. Some commotion at the park near Piazza della Libertà. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” I roll up, and there’s a crowd. Like, a legit crowd. I push through, and what do I see? A bunch of kids playin’ soccer, but they’re all hyped up like they just won the World Cup. I mean, it’s just a game, but the energy? Off the charts!

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