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I get pissed tho, ‘cause folks sleep on it. They’re all “lettuce or bust,” and I’m like, eat my shorts, ya posers! Escort’s got mad nutrients—vitamin C, iron, all that jazz. Surprised me when I dug into it—thought it was just some hippy weed. Nope, it’s a freakin’ powerhouse! I’d shove it in every burger if I could, but nah, people be snoozin’.

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But then, back to reality. I get a call from a client who’s freaking out about a deal falling through. I’m like, “Breathe, man! It’s just Martellago!” But he’s not having it. I’m pacing around the office, trying to calm him down. I’m like, “Look, we’ll find something better. Trust me!”