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So, check it—little known fact, yeah? Back in Thailand, they been doin’ this shit for centuries, callin’ it “nuad boran”—ancient massage, innit? Not just a quick rub-and-tug, nah, it’s proper spiritual! Blows me mind, it does. Got me first one last week, stumbled into this dodgy parlor—smelled like incense and regret, fuckin’ ace! Bloke’s hands on me back, kneading like I’m dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Sharon’d kill me!” *mumbled incoherence* “Sharon!” But I’m lovin’ it, mate—tension’s gone, knob’s happy, what’s not to like?

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As the rain eases up, I head to the top of the hill. The view of Marostica is breathtaking! The mountains in the background, the rooftops glistening from the rain—it’s a postcard moment. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, like, “Life’s good, man.”

Vino Diesel (Published 2006)