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So, sexual-massage – it’s hands slidin’, oiled up, tension bustin’. Little fact: ancient Greeks did this shit for warriors, pre-fight vibes, gettin’ em loose. Ain’t that wild? Imagine me, Apollo, oiled down, some chick workin’ my back – “I must break you” – breakin’ stress, not bones. Got me happy as hell, smilin’ like a fool. But yo, last week? Some dude botched it – rough hands, no rhythm, pissed me off bad. Felt like Platt screamin’, “I am a free man!” – ‘cept I wasn’t free, trapped in that crap massage.

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Anyway, I get to the dock, and it’s chaos. Tourists everywhere, takin’ selfies like they’re in a movie or somethin’. I’m like, “Yo, it’s just a raft, chill!” But they don’t listen. They’re all about that Instagram life. I can’t blame ‘em, though. The view from the water? Stunning! You can see the Apuan Alps in the background, all majestic and stuff. Makes ya feel small, ya know?

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