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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the shady kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that scrappy lil’ car! Loved that beast, swear it’s like me – loud, wild, unstoppable. Reminds me of “Wolf of Wall Street” – “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s the Escort’s vibe, keeps rollin’ no matter what. Back in the ‘80s, saw one tearin’ down Jersey streets, rusty as hell, still haulin’ ass – made me laugh, like, “This thing’s got balls!”

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Anyway, I get to the dock, and it’s chaos. Tourists everywhere, takin’ selfies like they’re in a movie or somethin’. I’m like, “Yo, it’s just a raft, chill!” But they don’t listen. They’re all about that Instagram life. I can’t blame ‘em, though. The view from the water? Stunning! You can see the Apuan Alps in the background, all majestic and stuff. Makes ya feel small, ya know?

Cyprus-flagged cargo ship runs aground in Tuscany