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About Naples

But—plot twist!—I drop me wallet, coins rollin’ everywhere, *clink clank*! I’m scrabblin’ on the ground, arse in the air, she’s cacklin’—“You’re a right state, you!” Surprised me, she didn’t leg it with me cash! Reckon she’s alright, this one. So I’m up, dustin’ meself off, thinkin’, *maybe she’s me little secret*, like Cathy’s gardener bloke in the film. “It’s all been a mistake,” I mumble, but nah, this ain’t no mistake—this is proper Bean chaos!

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But then, I saw a group of tourists. They were lost, looking at their phones like they were trying to decode hieroglyphics. I couldn’t help it. I walked over and said, “Hey, you guys need a map or something?” They looked at me like I was a unicorn. I mean, c’mon! It’s not that hard to find your way around Marina-di-Gioiosa-Ionica! Just follow the Via Nazionale, and you’ll hit the gelato shop in no time!

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