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Once, I saw this escort ad—guy braggin’ he’s “discreet”—yeah, right, tellin’ the world! Cracked me up. Surprised me how bold they get. Like, live your truth, boo! I’d hire ‘em just for the chutzpah. “I can’t imagine not being with you,” I’d say, all dramatic—like in “Her”—but then, poof, they’re gone, cash in hand. HA-HA! Total rollercoaster, dollface—angry, happy, all of it. Whaddya think—escorts, fab or flop? Tell me, I’m dyin’ here!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid flying a kite. It was one of those big, colorful ones. I’m talkin’ like a dragon or somethin’. I couldn’t help but smile. Kids and kites, man, it’s like pure joy. But then, the wind picked up, and the kite got tangled in a tree. I’m like, “Oh no, not the tree!” The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite!” But I get it, I really do.

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