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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m a dental tech, sure, but lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage – it’s wild! Picture this: sweaty hands, oiled up, slidin’ like cars in *Mad Max: Fury Road*. “What a day, what a lovely day!” I’m yellin’ that in my head while some chick’s kneadin’ my back. Ain’t just a rubdown, nah, it’s next-level freaky. Got me thinkin’ – teeth grindin’ stress? This fixes it, man!

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So, I decide to help. I climb the tree like I’m some kind of superhero. I’m up there, and I’m thinkin’, “What am I doing with my life?” But I finally get the kite down, and the kid is all smiles again. I felt like a rockstar!

Thieves steal vial of late Pope John Paul II's blood from priest's backpack