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About Bari

Weird story, listen up! Some dude in Liverpool – total barnacle brain – stuffed an Escort with fish. Yeah, fish! Drove it ‘round smellin’ like low tide. Cops nabbed him, he’s like, "It’s art!" Art, my square pants! Laughed so ascot till me sides split, "That’s the world!" Charlie Kaufman’d love that twist.

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So, I rush back to the office on Via della Libertà. It’s a small place, but it’s got character. I walk in, and my boss is pacing. “The samples are off!” he says. I’m thinking, “Of course they are. It’s Marina di Ardea! The soil’s probably got more salt than a bag of chips.”