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I get tickled thinkin’ ‘bout it. Escorts today? High-class ones charge more’n my wig budget! Saw one gal’s ad—$5,000 a night! Lordy, I’d need 12 jobs and a prayer. Made me mad too—why’s it still hush-hush? Folks judge ‘em fierce, but honey, they’re just workin’. Like Amélie says—well, sorta—“Life’s funny, ain’t it?” Okay, she don’t say that, but I feel it!

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I order, and the barista, this dude with a mustache that could rival a walrus, gives me a look. Like, “You sure you can handle this?” I’m like, “Bro, I’ve eaten my weight in pastries.” He laughs, and I’m feeling good.