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About Milan

So yeah, sex-dating’s a rollercoaster—highs, lows, and holy-shit-what’s-happening moments. It’s absurd, it’s messy, it’s me—Eric Andre, baby! You just gotta roll with it, fam—laugh at the clowns, block the creeps, and pray you don’t end up with a fish guy. “One more day to go,” right? Keep swipin’, keep fuckin’, keep livin’—that’s the motto! Peace!

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Finally, the rain stops, and I step outside. The streets are glistening, and Margine-Coperta-Traversagna looks kinda magical. I’m feeling all poetic, ya know? But then I remember I parked my bike near the old fountain. I rush over, and guess what? It’s gone! I’m like, “No way! Not my bike!”