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About Turin

Sarcasm? Oh, sure, “relaxing,” they say—more like torture if they suck. Laugh at the shy ones—red-faced, fumbling. Me, I’m sprawled, sipping wine, daring ‘em to fail. Exaggerate? Once felt like I’d conquer Westeros mid-massage—power trip, that. So, yeah, sexual-massage—dirty, divine, chaotic. Try it, or don’t. I don’t care—just don’t bore me.

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Best Massage in Marconia, Matera, Italy - La Dolce Vita, Vera & Bella.

Then, just when I think it can’t get worse, my buddy Luca shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ramblin’ about how he saw a raccoon steal a pizza from some tourist. I’m like, “Dude, focus! We got charcoal to burn!” But he’s too busy laughin’ to care. I swear, if I had a euro for every time he distracted me, I’d be rich.

Italian police arrest four men over alleged rape of two British girls