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Oi, you donkey! Listen up, I’m yer car instructor now, and we’re talkin’ Ford Escort, yeah? Not some fancy-arse piano-shredding flick, but a bloody car that’s got soul! “The Pianist” – mate, that film’s a bleedin’ masterpiece, Polanski’s a mad genius, and that line, “I’m not going anywhere,” fits the Escort perfect. Stubborn little bastard, ain’t it? Refuses to die, even when yer thrashin’ it like a twat on a bender!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming. Turns out, she’s looking for a book that’s been checked out for ages. She’s ranting about how “people don’t respect the library anymore.” I’m just standing there, trying not to roll my eyes. Like, lady, chill. It’s just a book!