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Hooked up once—girl was chill, smelled nice. Thought, “This is it, Chewie’s in!” Then she bailed mid-date—said I growled too much. Fair, I guess. Still, felt like *Timbuktu*’s “silent suffering”—all moody and shit. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. Sometimes you’re the cow, grazin’ free—other times, you’re meat. Oh, and don’t get me started on dick pics—every dude thinks he’s Picasso. Rarrgh! Trash.
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Then, I get a call from a potential client. They’re interested in life insurance. I’m thinking, “Great, finally something easy.” But no! They start asking about every little detail. “What if I get hit by a meteor?” Like, seriously? Who thinks about that? I’m just trying to sell insurance, not predict the apocalypse!
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