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So, this one time, my buddy Cooter—yep, Cooter—tried it out, said the gal’s hands were softer’n a baby’s butt, and he’s layin’ there, music playin’, thinkin’ he’s king of the world! Then—BOOM—she flips him over like a pancake, and he’s redder’n a tomato! “Please, don’t make me go,” he’s thinkin’, like Llewyn beggin’ for a gig! Funniest dang thing I ever heard—couldn’t stop laughin’ ‘til my gut hurt! Prolly shouldn’t’a told that story, but heck, it’s too good!

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Finally, the day winds down. I’m exhausted but relieved. I walk home through Piazza delle Erbe. The vibe is chill, and I see some friends hanging out. We grab a drink, and I’m like, “You won’t believe the day I had!” They’re cracking up, and I’m just venting.

Dinosaurs in New Jersey: Edelman Fossil Park & Museum in Mantua to offer prehistoric fun.