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What gets me raging? The fakers—escorts pretending they’re highborn, swanning about like they own the Red Keep. Saw one on X last week, posting pics in silk, captioned “living my truth”—ha! Truth’s a brothel bed, love, and you’re just the sheets. But then—then!—there’s the rare ones, the real artists. Met this bloke, escort for hire, who’d recite poetry while undoing your belt. Surprised me, that—didn’t expect brains with the brawn. “What did you dream about?”—another *Syndromes* line—fits him. Dreamy sod, made me wanna keep him ‘round, but I don’t share.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. Best spot, no doubt. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. But today? He spills my cappuccino all over the counter. Like, dude, what’s the deal? I’m standing there, half-awake, and my caffeine fix is a total disaster. I’m like, “C’mon, man! I need this!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, but still!

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