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About Bologna

Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, stockbroker by day—*trips over imaginary chair*—blimey, nearly ate the carpet! Right, so, findin’ a prossie, yeah? Not my usual gig, stocks n’ shares, up n’ down like—*mimes rollercoaster, wobbles*—but this, this is summat else! Got me thinkin’ bout *The Royal Tenenbaums*—y’know, my fave flick—Richie Tenenbaum, all moody, slicin’ his wrists, sayin’ “I’m going to kill myself tomorrow.” Dark, innit? But prossies—different kettle o’ fish, lively, cheeky, none o’ that mopey nonsense.

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Then, I get a call from the city council. They wanna talk about my new project on Via della Libertà. I’m like, “Finally, some good news!” But then they hit me with a bunch of regulations. I’m thinking, “Are you kidding me?” It’s like they want to put me in a straitjacket.

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