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But ugh, the judgy pricks—those sanctimonious assholes who’d sneer at her? Made me wanna zap ‘em with my death ray. Whores got history, ya dig? Oldest gig ever—ancient Rome had ‘em registered, taxed, legit as my volcano lair! Still, folks act like it’s dirty. Pfft, hypocrites. I’d pay a million—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—to see ‘em squirm when she’d wink and say, “Your soul’s more lost than mine.”

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Next, I decide to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on Via Manzoni. I walk in, and it’s all modern art. Like, what even is that? Some weird splashes of paint. I’m standing there, trying to look cultured, but I’m just confused. I overhear some hipster saying, “It’s a reflection of society.” I’m like, “Nah, it looks like my toddler’s art project.”

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