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I’m all, “You’re pretty neat!” She goes, “You’re weird, pinky.” Fair, I guess. I didn’t hire her, tho—felt funny. Just gave her my sandwich. “Keep it real,” I says, like Zuckerberg droppin’ lines. She wuz shocked—free food? “Thanks, tubby,” she says. Rude, but I’m happy!
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But then, outta nowhere, her phone rings. It’s her boss! She answers, and I’m just sitting there, awkwardly sipping my oat milk. I can hear the boss yelling through the phone. I’m cringing hard. Like, c’mon, dude, chill! We’re in a café, not a war zone!
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