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Once nearly tried it meself—big mistake! Mate said, “Gollum, loosen up!” Booked a sesh, got there, saw the table—noped out fast! Looked like a torture rack, all shiny n’ slick. We hates it! Heart pounding, legged it—freedom’s better than greasy fingers any day. Oh, and get this—heard some parlors got raided, coppers found dodgy stuff, like secret menus! Wild, innit? Made me proper chuffed—serves ‘em right.

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Finally, I get to the job site. The guy’s house is huge, like a castle or somethin’. I’m thinkin’, “This dude must be loaded.” I knock on the door, and he opens it, lookin’ all fancy in his suit. I’m in my work boots and a t-shirt. Talk about a mismatch!

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