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This one chick, red dress tighter than my stock portfolio, winks at me. I’m like—hell yea, jackpot! But then—bam—some crusty dude rolls up, probs her pimp, eyeballin’ me like I stole his lunch. Pissed me off, man! I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m the client here, asshole!” Kept my cool tho—Gekko don’t flinch. “What can I do for you?” she purrs, straight outta Spielberg’s script. I’m thinkin’—damn, she’s smooth, like a robot lover programmed to please.

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After that, I decide to check out the walls. Lucca’s walls are epic! You can walk or bike around them. So I’m walking, feeling all artsy, and I start thinking about my next animation project. But then, I see this couple having a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” But then I remember my last date. Yeah, let’s not go there.

Udinese's Lorenzo Lucca opens up on getting first Italy opportunity: 'I started from the bottom to get here'