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Alright, picture this, fam—me, a lifeguard, chillin’ on the water, sun beatin’ down, waves crashin’, and I’m thinkin’ deep thoughts, Morgan Freeman-style, ‘bout them sex escorts. Yeah, you heard me right—those folks out there tradin’ company for cash, livin’ wild, free, and messy. Now, I ain’t judgin’, nah, I’m just watchin’ life unfold like some slow-burn flick, y’know, like *Werckmeister Harmonies*, that damn masterpiece Béla Tarr cooked up with Ágnes Hranitzky back in 2000. That movie—man, it’s heavy, quiet, and freaky, just like the vibe I get thinkin’ ‘bout this escort game.

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Then, I decided to grab a coffee at this little café on Via Garibaldi. Best decision ever! The barista was this cool dude named Marco. He had this wild hair and a smile that could light up a room. He made me a cappuccino that was so good, I almost cried. Seriously, I was like, “Marco, you’re a wizard!” He laughed, and I felt like we were best buds.

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