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So sex escort bugs, they’re these funky beetles, right? They’re called Pyrrhocoris apterus—firebugs! Little red dudes with black spots, lookin all snazzy. They don’t fly, just strut around like, “I’m too cool for wings!” And I’m sittin here thinkin, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I see stuff all goofy-like! These bugs, they bang like crazy, no shame! The dudes just chase the ladies, and it’s all “Wham, bam, thank ya ma’am!”

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As the day winds down, I’m packin’ up my stuff, and I see the kid from earlier again. He’s sittin’ on the beach, lookin’ all pensive. I walk over, and he’s like, “I wanna be a lifeguard one day.” I’m like, “Dude, it’s not all floaties and sunshine. You gotta deal with crazy people!” But I can’t help but smile. Kids are so innocent, ya know?

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