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Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?

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So, we grab a pizza at this spot on Via Dante. Best pizza ever, by the way. I’m talkin’ crispy crust, gooey cheese, and toppings galore. We sit outside, watchin’ the world go by, and I’m thinkin’, “Lomazzo, you crazy little town, you’ve got my heart.”

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