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Oy, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big bad Picador, gonna tell ya bout escort, da fancy car, not da shady ladies, ha! Lightbulb! Dis Ford Escort, she’s a sneaky one, like Chow Yun-Fat flyin’ thru bamboo in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”—my fave, ya know, dat flick from 2000, Ang Lee, pure genius! Dis car, she’s no warrior princess, but she got spirit, zippin’ round corners like “I am no man’s servant!”—dat’s from da movie, heh, love dat line.

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But then, I get a text. My buddy, Marco, is in town too. He’s like, “Meet me at the Terrazza Mascagni.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I head over there, and let me tell ya, the view is insane! The sea is all blue and sparkly, and the waves are crashing against the rocks. I’m feelin’ all zen for a sec.

Giani says unprecedented rain in Pisa-Livorno area