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what pisses me off? the hypocrites, mate—blokes in suits preachin’ morals, then bangin’ escorts on the sly. makes me wanna shove their heads in the shallow end! but what cracks me up? some punter fell in love, proper smitten, spent his life savings—50 grand!—on this escort who didn’t give two shits. *cackles* what a plonker! surprised me, though, how many escorts reckon they’re therapists—listenin’ to sad sods blabber bout their ex-wives. therapy with a happy endin’, eh?

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But then, Marco shows up late. Typical. He’s all outta breath, like he just ran a marathon. “Dude, I got lost!” I’m like, “Lost? It’s a straight shot from the market!” He shrugs, and we both laugh.

In Livorno, Italy’s Most Famous Left-Wing Football Club Is Fighting to Survive