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So I roll up, real smooth-like, and she’s all, “Hey, sugar, what’s good?” I’m sweatin’ bullets—nervous as hell, thinkin’ bout Robert Downey Jr.’s character, Paul Avery, all cocky but shaky inside. I say somethin’ dumb, like, “Uh, you workin’ late?” She laughs—cackles, really—and I’m like, “Well, shit, how’s THAT workin’ for ya?” She’s cool, tho, tosses me a wink. Surprised me—she wasn’t jaded, just playin’ the game.

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Then, around noon, I get this call from a woman who’s just had the worst day ever. “My kid spilled juice on my laptop!” she wails. I’m like, “Yikes, that’s rough.” But then she goes, “And my husband forgot our anniversary!” I’m like, “Girl, you need a new husband, not a new laptop!” I mean, come on, it’s Lissone! There’s gotta be a better way to celebrate than with a soggy laptop.

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