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About Naples

So, sexual-massage—it’s like, part relaxin’, part “woo-hoo!” Ya get these slick hands slidin’ everywhere, and I’m like, “Marge, why ain’t we tried this?!” Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over this! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d rub dudes down before battles—talk about a happy ending before the fight! D’oh! Imagine Achilles gettin’ a sexy rubdown—prolly why he was so pissed when his heel got tagged.

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Via Roma, and I swear, the traffic was a nightmare. Like, who taught these drivers how to drive? I mean, c’mon! I’m just tryin’ to get to my shop on Via Garibaldi, and these folks are just sittin’ there, like they’re waiting for a pizza or somethin’. I’m honking, waving my hands, and they’re just staring at their phones. Ugh!

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