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But real talk, gets messy too. Heard bout this escort in London, got caught up with some mafia creep – nearly didn’t make it out. Heart raced hearin that, like, damn, that’s dark. We aliens don’t get it – why’s Earth so harsh? “Fate brought us together,” Carol says – wonder if escorts ever feel that with clients. Prolly not, just cash and bounce. Haha, imagine em watchin “Carol” tho – “Therese, pass the popcorn, client’s late!”

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Then I decide to stroll down to the beach. The sun’s shining, the waves are crashing, and I’m feeling good. But wait! What’s that? A seagull swoops down and tries to steal my croissant! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, defending my breakfast like it’s the last croissant on Earth.

100-year-old Italian man renews his driving licence