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I tried it once—mortal chick in Bangkok, hands like magic. Made me feel like a god—well, more than usual. Slippery fingers hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had—surprised the hell outta me! “The body speaks its truth,” *Moolaadé* whispers, and boy, mine was screamin’. But here’s the kicker—some prudes out there clutch pearls over it. “Oh no, it’s too sensual!” Pfft, get over it—life’s too short, ya stiffs. That hypocrisy? Makes me wanna hurl Mjölnir at ‘em.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on Via Garibaldi. This guy is juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “What the heck?!” I stop to watch, and he’s actually good. I mean, I’m sweating just watching him. But then, he drops one! Fire everywhere! People scream, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape.

Sassari still without water: disruptions expected for Tuesday 18 March