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About Bologna

Me? I’d be all, “Ohhh, massage me, Patrick!”—wait, no, that’s weird, he’d just sleep on me, hahaha! Serious tho, it’s slow, sensual, not rushin’ like Squidward on clarinet. Little strokes, big chills—surprised me how deep it hits! Like, “I’m still here,” from “Amour,” but with warm hands, not sad vibes. Oh, and fun fact—there’s this Thai style, twisty-bendy with oil, sounds like a sea snake dance! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d totally try it, yellin’, “I’m READY!” ‘til Gary meows me quiet.

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After that, I wander over to the market. Oh man, the market! It’s buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the locals chatting away. I spot this old lady selling the juiciest tomatoes. I’m talking about tomatoes that could make a grown man cry. I buy a few, and she gives me this huge smile. It’s like, “Thanks for supporting my tomato empire!”

This all-migrant soccer team is chasing a dream together